An ever-expanding list of lessons I have learned, thanks to child-rearing.

  • Crying is sometimes ok.  Crying does not always equal dying. 
  • Pack at least two extra outfits.  When they’re infants, you’ll need replacements due to poop-splosions.  When they’re toddlers, you’ll need them due to food/dirt/drool/crayon-splosions.
  • Cheerios are heaven’s fruit, crack for babies, and tantrum-averters all wrapped up in a perfect ‘O’.
  • Save your money.  Buy books at the dollar store.  Given the right (or wrong, as the case may be) mood, a $15 board book can be reduced to shreds in 12 seconds or less.
  • They don’t remember their first birthday party.  Whatever you do is for your own benefit, don’t fool yourself. 
  • The box is almost always more fun than the $50 chunk of plastic that came inside.
  • There is no reason a television should have more than one channel.  Treehouse.
  • Washable crayons, only.
  • 8 hours sleep is not always necessary.  Sometimes 6 hours will do just fine.  Even if it’s taken in 3, two hour segments.
  • Babies are smarter than we think.  In fact, they’re often smarter than we are.  We’re just taller and know English.
  • Keep a rotating stack of books in the car, even for the short trips.
  • While eating red food (pizza, chili, ketchup), strip to naked.
  • Pay top dollar for daycare and/or babysitting while baby is teething.  Whatever you normally pay is not enough.
  • With a toddler a) only let them taste food you are willing to part completely with, and b) only start a ‘fun, new’ game you are willing to play all day long.

1 Response to “Lessons Learned”


  1. 1 Stefanie Thrasher August 20, 2007 at 8:46 am

    Okay, your write up about yourself and the lessons you learned are freakin’ hilarious Jen! You should definitely be a writer. Love the “wrapped up in the perfect ‘O'” comment as well as the the “bequeathed” comment. Oh and I can totally relate to being having ambition to be ambitious. Too funny! You crack me up!


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