Archive for the 'Television' Category

Don’t believe the hype

So that Totally Awesome post about the weekend?  Riiiight.  Our weekend was a lot of this:


And a little bit of this:


While watching this:


Yes, the Grinch Who Stole Christmas was played on Sunday.  I’ve found it’s hard to explain to a not quite 2 year old that watching a Christmas movie in February may not be the most appropriate way to spend an afternoon.  But she’s stubborn and she wanted to watch it.  And when you’re pregnant and sick and lazy (mostly lazy), you don’t argue too hard.  You just put in the DVD, flop on the couch surrounded by balled-up used Kleenex and your own stink, and shut up about the durn movie.

Other highlights of the weekend:

a) I made twice-baked potatoes and cobbler, thanks to the inspiration and my fascination with The Pioneer Woman and her Cooks!blog.  Love her.  Like in-love with her.  But totally hetero girl love.  Like if she didn’t have all that other stuff of being a wife and a mother and a world famous blogista, I would totally ask her to come live with us and cook all our meals.  But only if she kept a hilarious, sarcastic running commentary.  With drool-inducing pictures.

Anyway, the fact that I cooked is amazing in and of itself because I am not a cooker (is that right?).  I mean cook.  Just cook.  I bake.  I do not cook.  Not that I can’t cook.  I just choose to channel my talents elsewhere.  Like eating.  But the potatoes and the cobbler turned out incredible.  And I’m not just patting my own back, I had plenty of other people patting it for me.  The potatoes were, and I quote, “better than the Keg’s” and the cobbler is now my “new signature dessert”.  Sure does make one want to do this cooking thing more often.  “One”.  Not me.  But maybe I’ll do it once in a while, to make everyone else happy.

b)  Mommy and Daddy vs. Eirinn.  Sunday night.  We had a half an hour stand-off over whether or not she should have to clean up the blocks she dumped, then kicked, all over the living room floor.  We said she probably should.  She said most certainly not.  We said oh yes, you are.  She said AHHHHHH!!!!  NOOOOO!!!!  We said y’are so, or these blocks are going straight into the garbage.  She dragged her feet.  Well, kind of stomped her feet. 

Let’s just say Team Mommy and Daddy finally won in a long, hard-fought, bloody battle ’til the death.  Or at least until all the blocks were back in their bag. 

The funny thing is she normally is pretty good at cleaning up.  She knows she has to put one thing away before playing with another and she does so happily, singing her clean up song.  I guess we just caught her at a bad time.

So, anyway, sorry about all the hype about this post.  I was being facetious.  I just learned how to spell that word today, so I had to give myself a reason to use it.  You were the victim.


Small victories

Score one for the tube-heads!

So, what’s that?  Like 10,000,000 to 1?  Yessss.  We’re on the board!

Well, the article doesn’t exactly tell us to let our kids watch tv, but it does say that if we do let them, the shows that I’ve been picking for her are fine and won’t turn her into some cracked raving lunatic.  Anymore than she already is, at least.  But I’ll take it!  It’s better than what we usually hear – that tv will rot her brain, that she’ll be stupider (yes, I watch a lot of tv, how’d you guess?), that she’ll go blind, that she’ll be obese, have diabetes, grow a third arm, become a dirty Commie, and only speak in tongues.  AT LEAST IT DOESN’T SAY THAT.


Ummm…crap.  I don’t know what happened.  She won, I guess.  That’s what happened. 


Damn you, Diego and Dora, with your hypnotic stare, speaking straight to my daughter, stealing her soul.  Teaching her Spanish and animals and counting and manners and the alphabet and…wait a minute… 

DD – Days 3 & 4

I think we’ve broken her!  We wore her down, stood our ground, and we won!  I think.  She hasn’t asked for Diego when the tv comes on since Day 2, and the singing of the Diego anthem has been kept to a minimum (like, only 10 times a day, instead of with every breath she exhaled).  She’s not crazy-eyed, foaming at the mouth, whispering ‘Eggo’ in her sleep, throwing fits of anger everytime we touch the remote and Diego doesn’t appear.  Which is a remarkable improvement from last weekend.

So now what?  A week isn’t up, but I’m never one to mark plans in stone.  I’m flexible.  Should I give it another day or two?  Not worry about it unless she asks?  It’s just so sad that I’ve taken away something she clearly loves more than life itself a lot. 

Now that we’ve made it through the rough spots, I feel like such a horrible mommy.  So mean!  Taking away a tv show, a perfectly appropriate tv show, just because she…what?  Actually enjoys it?  Well, there’s no sense guilt-tripping myself.  It is just a cartoon, afterall.  I’ll just buy myself Eirinn something sparkly and expensive and we’ll both feel better. 

Five things that made me smile this week

  1. Eirinn generously giving Bosco her new McDonalds toy (don’t have a coronary; she had a grilled cheese and apple slices) because he so desperately wanted it and Eirinn is such a good sharer.
  2. Hearing ‘clap, clap, clap, Eggo’ for the six bajillionth time, only this time, in the bathtub, it was ‘Diego’, clear as a bell.  Maybe she thought she couldn’t watch it because she was mispronouncing the star’s name.
  3. Eirinn was sitting beside me on the couch when my husband came over and asked her for a kiss goodbye.  She pushed the backs of the two of our heads together and said ‘Mommy’.  He would get a kiss from her only after he gave one to me.
  4. Her endless conversations on her real (broken) flip cell phone with Pawpaw, and Daddy, and Diego.  They are always so animated and very, very interesting.  She flips the phone, dials the number so intently, puts it to her ear and says ‘Ha-low?’ 
  5. While drying off after a bath, she asked me (in her own baby-language/broken English that apparently only I understand fluently) if she could sit on the ‘peepee’.  I put her up on the toilet and we had a hilariously loud chorus of ‘Peepee on the Potty’.  No action, but loads of fun.

DD – Day 2

Yesterday went a little better than Monday.  Whenever she starts with the ‘clap, clap, clap’, we very loudly sing ‘When you’re happy and you know it.’  This usually distracts her enough to forget about Diego for the moment.  I nearly went into a meltdown panic when she was watching a show and a commercial for Diego came on.  I froze in sheer fright.  But she just sang along, did the actions, and when it was over, that was that.  Maybe she thought that she had watched a full episode.  Kids can’t tell time, right?  Or maybe she’s getting over it.  Or maybe she’s just lulling me into a false sense of security so that I’ll allow her to watch 15 episodes in a row, and buy her the books, and the bedding, and the lead-poisoned action figures, and “No, I’m not addicted to Diego anymore, mom.  But if you turn it off I will scream until our neighbours call child protective services and when they come I’ll tell them that you BIT ME, YOU EVIL, EVIL MOMMY!!!”

Diego Detox – Day 1

We started our Diego detoxification program yesterday.  I think it is going to be harder than I had anticipated.  This addiction runs deep.  We may need professional help.

This is how it’s going to go down, if we can stay strong: No Diego for one week.  After one week, one Diego episode maximum per day.  She can still watch her Little Bear and Rolie Polie Olie during breakfast and Franklin before bed.  But NO GO, DIEGO, GO until we’ve broke her of her unhealthy dependency.

Yesterday was scattered with random tearful outbursts of “Eggo?  Clap, clap, clap?”  It was so sad.  She even invented a new facial expression.  She pouts out her bottom lip, far enough to land aircraft, combined with Angry Eyes.   It’s like “Look at how sad I am.  Don’t you feel sorry for me?  Well, you better or I’ll punch you square in the mouth!”  She even tried the old ‘fake injury’ bit.  She was all “Oooo…booboo, booboo,” while pointing at a freckle.  “Oh, poor baby.  Do you want mommy to kiss it better?” “Eggo, Eggo!”  ARG!!!  The child is an evil genius.

She also somehow managed to talk us into pickles and ice cream for dinner.  How she did that is beyond my intellectual capacity, but I think it was a combination of guilt and the screaming that made us crack.  She’ll probably have scurvy by the end of the week.

But there was no Diego.  Pickles and ice cream for dinner, but, by golly, no Diego!

Tornado Eirinn

The life and times, trials and tribulations, crimes and punishments, lessons learned and scores settled by my daughter, Eirinn, AKA The Tornado.

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When I Wrote

July 2018
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