Lessons Learned

An ever-expanding list of lessons I have learned, thanks to child-rearing.

• Crying is sometimes ok.  Crying does not always equal dying. 
• Pack at least two extra outfits.  When they’re infants, you’ll need replacements due to poop-splosions.  When they’re toddlers, you’ll need them due to food/dirt/drool/crayon-splosions.
• Cheerios are heaven’s fruit, crack for babies, and tantrum-averters all wrapped up in a perfect ‘O’.
• Save your money.  Buy books at the dollar store.  Given the right (or wrong, as the case may be) mood, a $15 board book can be reduced to shreds in 12 seconds or less.
• They don’t remember their first birthday party.  Whatever you do is for your own benefit, don’t fool yourself. 
• The box is almost always more fun than the $50 chunk of plastic that came inside.
• There is no reason a television should have more than one channel.  Treehouse.
• Washable crayons, only.
• 8 hours sleep is not always necessary.  Sometimes 6 hours will do just fine.  Even if it’s taken in 3, two hour segments.
• Babies are smarter than we think.  In fact, they’re often smarter than we are.  We’re just taller and know English.
• Keep a rotating stack of books in the car, even for the short trips.
• While eating red food (pizza, chili, ketchup), strip to naked.
• Pay top dollar for daycare and/or babysitting while baby is teething.  Whatever you normally pay is not enough.
• With a toddler a) only let them taste food you are willing to part completely with, and b) only start a ‘fun, new’ game you are willing to play all day long.